Dear Family & Friends,
Last night Stella had another difficult night. She was awake most of the night, coughing. At around 6:30AM, she seemed a little better. I asked her what I could cook for her and she asked me if I could make her a homemade waffle. I was so happy that she wanted to eat something. She ate one bite, and said she was sorry but she couldn't eat it. Then she had a tiny piece of an Italian Biscotti that Natalie brought her & she really seemed to enjoy it. Unfortunately, within five minutes, she vomited. The vomiting was going on all day & night yesterday. Her throat was sore this morning & her voice was hoarse. It's not that she is vomiting up food, it's mostly liquid because she has barely eaten anything in the last few days.
She said she wasn't "up" for any visitors today. While we were sitting in the family room, I took out my laptop & let her see all of the pictures I had taken over the last few months & the holidays, including Christmas Eve. She truly enjoyed looking at all of the pictures and she was smiling from ear to ear.
(Stella was in the hospital from Dec. 18th through Dec. 23rd. She told the doctors that she just wanted to go home for the Holidays. She came to Dominick & Kathleen's house on Christmas Eve and was able to sit with us while we opened presents. Her pain was bad that night, but we she stayed with us for about two hours. She wasn't able to go anywhere on Christmas Day, so Kathleen & I went to her home. She just didn't want to go back to the hospital. Her pain got so bad that week. She finally went back to the hospital on Dec. 27th and was there until January 7th.)
After I showed her all of the pictures, I began to read her Facebook Wall comments to her and the comments that have been left on the blog. She was smiling when I read each one to her. She was very surprised to see how many people have read the blog. She said, "Wow, that's unbelievable!"
Through the last few years, many of Stella's closest friends & family members did not know how terribly ill she was. It was her way of coping with this disease. I do believe that my Sister didn't want anyone to worry about her and that is the main reason why she sheltered so many from the news that she was so ill.
Stella & I were finally alone this afternoon. I had my Sissy all to myself for a little while. I told her how much I loved her and how happy I was that we had such a great year together. Then, I prayed with her and used the Holy Water and made the Sign of the Cross on her forehead, lips & chest. We held hands. We talked about happy things.
Soon after, the Hospice Nurse arrived. Her name is Cathy. She was so kind to us. She asked Stella if she was a Spiritual person & my sister nodded, "Yes.". She comforted my sister with her words. When she was leaving, I had a chance to talk to her alone. I asked her if she thought Stella knew how bad things were. She said she thinks she does & that she is protecting us. Then I asked Cathy how much time she thought that Stella had left. She told me that she thought that Stella would be at peace within a few days. I already knew the answer in my heart when I saw her yesterday. Her lungs are beginning to fill with fluid, she has a fever, and she isn't eating. I don't want her to be in anymore pain.
I am so grateful that I am able to be here with Stella. I am also very grateful that I have such wonderful family & friends at home who have offered their help while I am here.
Please keep praying for her. Thank you. Love, Grace
Dear Father,
ReplyDeleteToday I walk alone through the valley of fear.
The world I once knew is slipping away,
and the reality I dread is closing in.
Even my memories disturb me...
things I said or should have said,
things I did or could have done
come to haunt me now.
Father, I am afraid.
Help me to trust
that all unfinished conversations
will be finished with you,
and everything left undone
will be done in paradise,
and there is no reason to fear anything at all.
Gentle God,
into your hands I commend my loved one,
into your hands I commend my sorrow.
If I have to let go...
let me remember it is only for a time,
and the one that I love
is being asked only
to come home,
to be held in your loving arms
forever and ever,
Amen.
Prayers for Stella and the whole family!!!
ReplyDeleteWe wanted to come visit Saturday but totally understand special family were in town.
Thanks for the updates- it teaches us better how to be praying!
AS the Bible says: Pray without ceasing!
Love ya
Darcia
Dear Grace,
ReplyDeleteYou don't know me but I think you have met my wife Giovanna. we both worked with your sister for over 15 years. Our family is deeply saddened with the news that Stella has not been doing well. She has always been a wonderful person and a great friend to us all. We became good friends through work and I can remember speaking to her on facebook only a few short months ago. We want her to know how much we love her and pray for her each and everyday. God Bless you and your family.
Love and friendship always, Tony & Giovanna Nasta
Dear Lord,...
ReplyDeleteThank you for the comfort we find in Your presence. Through the Holy Spirit we know Your presence is with us. Send us Your peace Lord; the peace that passes all understanding. Don’t let us waiver and doubt. Give us a faith that is everlasting. We release our lives into Your hands. As we wait and watch, we know Lord that none of us will escape this journey through death. Teach us how to embrace it with faith. Give us strength to hold up those who are stepping closer to seeing You face to face. Take away the fear in the heart of our loved one who will soon see You; let them find peace in Your grace, comfort in Your love, and strength in Your mighty power over death. Comfort us as our grief seems to over power us.
You are a good, just, righteous, and loving Father. Don’t let us grow bitter in this shadow of death. But pierce our hearts with a joy that we can not fathom or understand. A joy that is above all that is corrupted here on earth. Jesus you wept over death and so too, we weep. But it is a grief and a mourning that holds joy on the other side. You are conqueror of all; and so we trust You. We trust that You will do what is right, what is loving. Whether in death or in life Your will is accomplished and You are sovereign. May we know Your presence, Lord. Keep us ever aware of Your loving hand guiding us through all things. In the name of Jesus we pray, amen.
We love you Stella!
Grace,
ReplyDeletePrayers continue. May God's peace fill your hearts as you await the end of Stella's earthly life. Continue to focus on Him and the fact that once she is safely in His arms, there will be NO pain, NO tears, NO vomiting, NO illness. Only joy and peace will surround her for eternity. Focus on the fact that you will one day be united with her and that you can then share in that joy forever.
Love you sweet friend and praying hard.
Ohilda
Grace, my prayers are still with you, stella and your family. How lucky Stella is to have sister like you who is so loving, caring and unselfish. Reading your blog has taught me so much these last few weeks..I want to thank both you and Stella for that gift. I'm here if you need me. Love, Susie
ReplyDelete