Things are not so good

Dear Family & Friends,
    Stella has been having a very difficult time these past few days. She hasn't been able to eat much of anything. She wasn't able to keep any food down at all yesterday. Her Hospice nurse changed her medications, and they prescribed an anti-nausea medication as well. There isn't much more that can be done, other than giving her more pain medicine to keep her comfortable. When you are in Hospice, comfort is the main goal.
     It's a tough balancing act for my sister-in-law to work through. Every day is different. She just has to wait and see how Stella feels each day. Kathleen & Dominick have so much on their plate. They have been trying to make sure that Stella is comfortable for every moment she has left and balance their lives as well. In addition to caring for my sister 24 hours a day, they have five children. 
Even with all of that, Kathleen knows that I am on egg shells every minute of every day. We now talk several times throughout the day.
   Two weeks ago when I was in NY, Stella asked me,"Are you taking care of yourself?" She is still watching out for me.
   I was due for all of my own check-ups in November, but kept putting them off. I went to see my Oncologist yesterday. She is the most compassionate doctor I have ever met. She knows everything about me & my family...details most doctors don't take the time to ask. She took one look at me & knew that this visit wasn't just a "check-up".  We spent the next 45 minutes talking, crying & then we made a plan of every test I wanted to have done. I will be having a Breast MRI, a brain scan & a full body scan.
    It may seem like overkill, but I can't sit around and worry. I have been having a few aches & pains, here & there. Three days ago, I had a migraine that was off the charts. That was when I said. "Okay, it's time to go to the doctor."
    I am usually very diligent with my own health. The last few months, I haven't had the time to worry about myself. But, I would be a fool to ignore my own advice. I had breast cancer in 2001, at age 35.
   When Stella was diagnosed with ovarian & breast cancer (4 1/2 yrs. ago), I went back to my Oncologist the next day. That was in 2006. My doctor agreed that having my ovaries & breasts removed was the right thing to do. Stella & I both carry the BRACA gene. This gene affects many women & men. The likelihood of getting breast, ovarian, colon &/or prostate cancer is greatly increased for those who carry this genetic mutation.  I already had breast cancer, so my odds of getting breast cancer again was 87%. If I removed my breasts, I had a 90% chance of not getting breast cancer again. I would be a sitting duck if I did nothing. Our mother died at 53, from cancer, too. So, I elected to have these surgeries in 2007. Even though my breasts have been removed, I still have an MRI once each year to make sure that everything is still okay. I know I will be a basket case for the next 2 weeks---until I have all these scans behind me. Every time either one of us would go for a scan or blood work, we were both on pins and needles, too.
    When I spoke to Stella again this evening, she told me that she still wasn't feeling well. She said that she can't eat and has been sleeping a lot. It is breaking my heart to hear how weak she sounds.
I am asking for more prayers for Stella. Thank you so much.
Love, Grace